Nights In The Hospital Are Reminiscent Of The Twilight Zone

   Last night I was on call, and while I was in the cafeteria gettin a snack during "power hour" (when it opens briefly from 11pm-midnight), the super flamboyant cashier tells me, "Wow, you have an amazing walk! I was watching you walk over here, and you look like a beauty queen or something."

Me (laughing),"Well, thank you. Maybe it's 'cause in my head I secretly think I'm a beauty queen!"

Cashier: "And you have a great smile too!" (Looks at my hand) "Are you married? engaged? Single?"

Me: "Oh, Uh I live with my boyfriend."

Cashier: "How's he?!"

Me: "He's good...."

LOL

   Last time I was on call, I ran into this gem in the ladies bathroom.  What's even worse, is that it stayed there for a good three days after that.  Way to clean the bathroom, janitorial staff!

Girl, you done left yo' weave in da bathroom!

   I'm really enjoying internal medicine.  My goals for this rotation are just to learn a ton, and 'study' for Step 2 CK in the meantime, since I'm taking it 2.5 weeks after this clerkship ends.  Fortunately, I've heard Step 2 is very internal medicine heavy, so I should be okay.  So far, I'm learning a ton, and I absolutely adore the demented old patients.  Crazy old ladies still need OB/Gyns, right?

I Like Adults So Much More Than Children

   I'm nearing the end of my first week on Internal Medicine, and I actually really enjoy it!  So far, I'm really having a fun time, and the patients are really interesting.  I have a lot to learn, but I'm really enjoying the process.  The Q4 schedule (overnight call every 4 days with regular days in between) is a little rough, but it also give you random time off, so that's nice.
   Yesterday, I did a MOCA on one of my old patients, and because he is a bit demented, he really struggled on it.  I just told him, "Oh, don't worry.  Just try your best!  These tests are a bit tricky!" After getting through the cognitive assessment with some frustration on his part, (and just to give you an idea of how bad he struggled - he scored a 14/30 after spending an hour doing it), I told him, "Thanks for being so patient with me!  That's it for now!"  And he replied, "Oh, you know, that was actually pretty fun.  It gets kinda boring sitting in the hospital so it was nice to have someone here."  Man, I love old people.




   Also, as an aside.  This is a thought I've had for a little while, but keep forgetting to blog about.  One of my big pet peeves is when residents/attendings are in the middle of talking to/listening to patients, and their pager goes off, and they rudely stop everything to read their pager.  I completely understand that we have to answer our pages in a timely manner, but it's so much more polite to just take two seconds to say, "Oh, please excuse me.  I just have to read this really quick."  I've seen people in the middle of a serious heart-to-heart convo with a patient, and all of a sudden BEEP BEEP BEEP! And they completely ignore the patient sobbing in front of them as they read their pager and fidget with it.  And then a minute later, they look back up at the patient and say, "Sorry, what did you say?"  That is so rude.  Just excuse yourself, so the patient knows that you still want to listen to them, and this page isn't more important than what they're saying, necessarily.

Medical Mondays - Reality Slap

   Time to link up again!  Head over to Your Doctor's Wife if you are on the hunt for more fabulous medical related blogs to read.

   I'm still partially recovering from the reality slap of a meeting I had with my advisor for OBGyn the other day.  I met with him to discuss what kind of candidate I am for applying to OBGyn residency, what I should do to make myself more competitive (especially because I'll be couples-matching), etc.  Unfortunately, I have a lot of work to do.  He said my scores and such are good, however, I am seriously lacking in the extra-curricular/research section of my application.  Compared to my classmates (who over-commit and spread themselves wayyy too thin, in my opinion), I look like a slacker.  Womp womp.  I am just the type of person who is "all or nothing".  If I commit to something, I go full-force, gung-ho.  That's why I don't commit to just anything.
   So, as much as I thought I would never do research in med school, here I am looking for a project.  I have never done research before, so I have no idea where to even start with anything!  I think I've been so hesitant to do any research because I know I'm going to need a lot of hand-holding.  I definitely need to come up with something that really interests me, though.  If I have learned anything about myself, it's that I am capable of really hard work, but only when I'm extremely motivated.

   I also think my advisor is sorta pushing me beyond where I really need to be as a candidate, because I think he wants me to just get in wherever I decide I want to go, easily.  And that's okay.  I need to be pushed sometimes.  We all saw what happened when my advisor pushed me farther than I thought I could go when studying for boards...

Okay, I'll Try To Stop Being Such a Brat Now

  So I've done a little attitude adjustment since my last post.  I realize I was kinda in a bratty mood when I posted that... Peds isn't that bad, it's just not my thing.  The way people think, the pace, the diseases and treatments, it all just doesn't really interest me.  And that's okay.  It's not for everyone!

   I have been enjoying the babies, learning about them and getting more comfortable handling them.  Afterall, this will be super useful when I'm trying to catch babies later on, and also when I decide to have children of my own.  I've enjoyed talking to the new parents.  I just love how excited they are sometimes.

  So far the highlight of my week was giving a newborn baby girl her very first bath.  She was so fat and cute, and it was just a precious experience.  And her new dads were watching excitedly, not wanting to miss a single moment.  *sigh* So cute.

I Wanna Go Back To Vagina-Land

   Last week I finished my OB/Gyn rotation, and it was f-ing awesome.  I am so sold.  I love everything about it: the patients, the issues, the treatments, the counseling, the personalities of the physicians, EVERYTHING!  I think I did okay on my exams, so I'm anxious to get my grade.  I worked really hard, and so far it has been paying off in my evaluations, but I hope it also pays off in my exam scores.  Even if I don't honor though, it's not the end of the world, and I'll still get into an OBGyn residency.  And I got a LOT out of this rotation, in terms of both learning and figuring out things for my future.  I'm really sad it's over, and now I've got to try and stay on track for the rest of the year as I make my way through things I don't really like.

   Speaking of which, I started pediatrics this week, and this is going to be a long 8 weeks ahead of me.  I mean, yeah the kids are cute, but I'm not ga-ga over them like a lot of my classmates, and their disease processes and treatments don't really interest me.  Also, I can tell I am going to have a hard time with the personalities in this field.  They are nice people (most of them, anyway), but we just don't... mesh well.  So far, there are a few passive-aggressive personalities, and working with them is going to be a test of my patience because these types of personalities are my pet peeve.  For instance, my attending (who by-the-way, I think already hates me) tried to make a passive aggressive remark on my presentation about my controversial source instead of being direct.  That pisses me off.  If you are an educator, you need to grow some balls/ovaries and tell me what you don't like about it/what I need to fix, or don't say anything at all.  So I totally called her out, and asked if there was something I said wrong - which I didn't - but she thought I did, because she wasn't even listening.  If she would have just corrected me, she would have found out that I actually DID say it right.  Whatever.

  It's already very clear to me that I am not a pediatrician.

Feeling Territorial Over OBGyn

   Wow, I haven't posted for a while!  I've been busy with the gynecology and outpatient clinic part of my OBGyn rotation, but I've been loving every minute of it.  I'm still super jazzed about pursuing OBGyn as my specialty.  I have been working my butt off, and for the first time in a very long time I actually feel like I'm doing a good job.  I've been getting good feedback from people I've been working with, and I just love what I'm doing again.

   One thing that has been irritating the hell out of me is how several people in my class all of a sudden are "interested in OBGyn".  There are a few people that, like me, have been super interested from the start - and I don't mind them at all.  In fact, we often work together and help each other out in our pursuits.  What bothers me is classmates who tell the attendings and residents they are considering OBGyn, but when talking to fellow classmates, admit they have no interest.  Come on people!  Telling people you want to go into a field that you actually don't is not going to help you at all.  And it just makes the residents and attendings not take anyone seriously.  It's extremely frustrating for people like me to witness these interactions, and I've lost respect for a few people because of it.  If people truly are all of a sudden interested in OBGyn, then that's great.  But it's really hard for me to listen to people say they are interested, when their actions and attitudes clearly indicate that they are not.  Also, I realize I am being a brat.  And I think I'm okay with that...

   Funny enough, I was describing my feelings about this matter to BF, and he goes, "Well, that's very OBGyn of you to feel territorial like that."  And then I just laughed.

   Also, here are my latest nails.  And yes, they are a tiny bit unprofessional.



 

 

All My Crafting Is Paying Off

   I've realized surgery (and medical procedures in general) are very much like arts and crafts.  You have to have a lot of concentration, and not get bored with being meticulous with your movements.  I observed a sacrocolpopexy the other day, and I was strangely reminded of some kind of basket weaving or needle work.

   I've also realized that OB/Gyn is all of the good things I liked about surgery (the OR, doing procedures, quick-to-the-point rounds, "fixing" your patient)... but without all of the things I hated about surgery (not liking or not caring about patients' well-being, competitive patriarchal culture, etc).

   This week, I was scrubbed in on a gyn surgery, and the team let me close the skin.  I am always rusty and awkward when I start suturing, but as I move along the incision and relax more, I get smoother and faster.  When I finally finished sewing up this lady's abdomen, the attending came over to check my handy work, and she goes, "Wow! What do you wanna go into? Plastic surgery or something?!"

Me: "No, I wanna go into OB/Gyn!"

Her: "Oh good! You're hired! Your C-section patients will love you!  Just skip 4th year of med school.  You don't learn anything then anyway.  Just start residency now."

   If only they could see my smile and bright red face underneath my mask...

When You Know, You Know!

   Just finished my third night in a row of overnight call for OBgyn, and I'm somehow feeling more refreshed than ever! In the last three nights, I've delivered one baby boy, one baby girl, and a few placentas. One of the new dads had the nurse put a onesie on his newborn that said, "mommy, will you marry daddy?" Another patient came in at term and gave birth within a few hours of arriving, with absolutely no prenatal care and meth positive. I've observed several other births, held a woman's leg while she pushed, and scrubbed in on a salphingostomy for an ectopic pregnancy. I've been working with attendings, residents and nurses who may be tired, but they all love their jobs and are extremely passionate about caring for patients. The residents aren't touchy-feely-bubbly, but they actually acknowledge me, include me and let me do stuff, and teach me when they have time. I've even had two chief residents tell me I'm doing a good job, one of which told me she "has a good feeling about me going into OBgyn." I'm tired, but it's been incredible.
   I don't know how any other specialty is going to live up to this!

   Unfortunately, the one bummer is that I lent my stethoscope to one of the residents, who left it on the table in the work room to give it back to me, and someone took it :(. I mean, I didn't really have a choice - when a resident or attending asks you to borrow your stethoscope, it would be really rude to say no. But it just sucks because it was an expensive one and the resident was super nonchalant about it. I can't really do anything about it because they are evaluating me. Oh well, I have a cheaper back-up one at home. And maybe this is the price I must pay for getting so much action on my call nights.

When Wannabe-Ob/Gyn Meets Wannabe-Surgeon

   Sounds like the cheesy plot line of a romance novel, but it's my life.  I wanted to practice my surgical knot tying skills, so I bought some colored string to make it fun.  Last night, BF and I had arts-and-crafts time, where we practiced our one-handed and two-handed knot tying, but we decided to get fancy and make each other anklets.  We decided on anklets as opposed to bracelets so we don't have to take them off.  Feel free to barf now!  :P

Placentas Are Like Jellyfish

   Yesterday was my first time assisting in a delivery, but I didn't really do much, so I'm not gonna count that was my first one.  Today I got to deliver my first placenta.  IT WAS AWESOME.  Lol... I don't know who gets excited about delivering a placenta, but I do.  Anyway, I'm still loving OB/Gyn.  I'm working on learning as much as I can so I will be a rockstar intern, working on my confidence in taking H&Ps and treating patients, and trying my hardest to balance being proactive with not getting in the way too much.  All the interns and residents just seem to know what they are doing, and I can't wait until I get to that point.  I think people are beginning to warm up to me :).  It's just hard because when I get intimidated, I get very quiet and shy, so sometimes I come off stand-offish.

   Something I realized about OB/Gyns that makes me giggle is how superstitious they are.  They are always knocking on wood and saying, "Don't jinx me!!!"  I think it's funny.

Is It Normal To Feel High During A NSVD?

   First week of L&D is complete, and I absolutely love it.  The team is pretty nice, but I'm still waiting for a few of them to warm up to me - all in good time.  I absolutely love the patients.  I just being the "go-to girl" for all their "intimate issues".
   Yesterday, I was observing another NSVD (normal spontaneous vaginal delivery), and AGAIN had to keep myself under control to stop myself from crying tears of joy.  I just can't help it!  Everyone in the room is just so different after a birth.  The awaiting family is standing by with their cameras at the ready and ginormous grins on their faces.  The new mom can't take her eyes off her precious new baby, whispering, "I love you so much already" into baby's ear. All the physicians and nurses (even the ones who are usually cold and intense in all other situations), are giddy with excitement and congratulating the new mom on her wonderful job well done.  And last but not least, my very favorite part of all: the new dad is wiping tears of joy from his eyes, kissing mom on the forehead, with a look on his face that screams this is the happiest moment of his life.  This might not sound normal, but I swear, the feeling I get while all of this is going on feels like I'm high on happy drugs.  How could I not love doing this every day?!
   I know, every birth is different.  Each family experiences the important event differently.  And every once in a while, the event is somber or tense.  But if I could just participate in a birth as miraculous as yesterday every once in a while, it would make it all worth it.  I think - I hope - I've found my calling.

Insert HUGE Sigh Of Relief Here

   Had my first day of L&D today.  Was a CRAAAAAAZY day.  And I loved every minute of it!  Again, teared up with joy while watching a vag delivery.  I am breathing a HUGE sigh of relief because I'm feeling those butterflies I haven't felt in so long, and I'm reminded why I went into medicine.  I LOVE OB/GYN!

    More later.  Have to sleep now.

The End Of A More Difficult Chapter

    Now that surgery is over, I'm left with many lingering thoughts, some of which I'll discuss now, and others which I'll come back to at some other point. I'm feeling a bit burned out at this point, and like I mentioned before, I've never actually reconsidered going into medicine before this last two months. Ultimately, I think it's just a sign that surgery is not for me, and when I find what's right for me, I'll be re-inspired and reminded why I'm doing what I'm doing, or at least that's what I'm desperately hoping for.
     It's interesting because when I look back on my psych rotation, it, too, was emotionally hard on me at times, but for completely different reasons. On psych, the patient's stories were sad, and it got frustrating not being able to fix all the patient's problems, but connecting with the patients was a fun challenge. And as a med student, you were a valuable part of the team, and the team welcomed you and cared about your learning and well being. On surgery, most people don't give a shit about the med students, and instead of looking at med students as future fellow colleagues who are on their journey of training, they look at us like we're little idiots who aren't worth their time. On surgery, people have huge egos and mostly care about "knowing their shit" and looking good. They really don't care to spend any time with the patients, which might be the reason I feel so burned out. Spending time with patients is one thing that re-energizes me and gives me that "warm and fuzzy" feeling, and those feelings have been far and few in between on this rotation.  One day, when one of my fellow MS3s and I were tired of being in the OR, we decided to go up to our floor and do "social rounds" on all of the patients on our service.  We went around to each patient's room, just popped in to say "Hi, how are you doing?" and then went on our merry way.  One patient was feeling particularly down, because he had been in the hospital so long, so we sat down and chatted with him for a good 20 minutes.  It was really nice to give the patients some attention, because usually they don't get much after rounds are over.
    I started writing this post a couple of weeks ago when I was still bitter about my experience on trauma surgery, so now I'm feeling a little more optimistic about medicine after having an overall great experience on GI surgery.  Unfortunately, we just have this weekend to recharge before rotation 3, so I hope I can muster up the energy.  I start L&D for OB/Gyn this week, which I am really excited about.  I can't believe my time is finally here - time to really see if this is what I want.  I hope this is the rotation that re-inspires me.  I have a good feeling about this, so here we go!

BF and I had a BBQ to celebrate being done with 1/3 of our third year!

    ***Also, I did some much-needed retail therapy today and bought some new professional dresses and blouses.  :)  Hey... I deserved it after making it through 8 weeks of surgery, right?!

Much Needed Golden Weekend

   Today concludes the 6th week (of 8 weeks total) of my surgery rotation.  I think the one word that best sums up how I feel is "tired".  I'm excited because this is my first "golden weekend" (aka having BOTH Saturday and Sunday off) that I've had in over six weeks.  I have been pulling 12-16 hour days 6 days a week, so I've sorta been living under a rock.  I can't wait to see my family and friends this weekend while I have the chance!

    Two weeks ago I switched over to GI surgery, which is a million times better than trauma surgery was.  My team is awesome: super laid-back, approachable, like to teach, etc.  They are pretty intense at times, and even may yell at you, but they aren't mean about it, and you can tell they care.  And at least they acknowledge us med students... which is more than I can say for my previous team.

   I've been also been liking this half better because we have been getting much more OR time.  It gets a little repetitive scrubbing in on lap cholies, roux-en-y gastric bypasses and hernia repairs all the time, but still cool.  I've also been able to get a better look at anesthesiology too, which is pretty cool.  I like how much physiology it involves, and how it has moments of "routine" and other moments of "sheer terror/panic".

   Anyway, I've been ready for this rotation to be over since the first week, but I only have one and a half weeks left, I'm in the final stretch, and I am ready!  I can't wait to start OB/Gyn next.  Finally, I;m gonna be doing something I'm passionate about.  I hope surgery hasn't exhausted all my energy... This post isn't meant to be a complain-y post, but more of a reminder to myself later why I'm not interested in surgery as a career.  And I've also realized after six weeks straight of 70-80 hour weeks, that lifestyle is important to me, so I should keep that in mind when considering specialties.  When I only have 2-3 hours to myself each day between the time I get home and the time I need to go to bed, to get a whopping 6 hours of sleep, I am not a refreshed and happy person.  I guess it's probably something you get used to.  Does it ever get any better?  Should I kiss any life I had outside of medicine goodbye?

So This Is What People Meant When They Said Third Year Was Rough

   Let me start out by saying I am fully aware that many of my posts lately have been negative.  I hate to be so negative, so I'm going to end this post with positive thoughts, because really, you can always find something positive in everything - even though finding that positive thing doesn't necessarily improve one's piss-poor mood.

   Anyway, I mentioned in my last post that I was hating my surgery rotation so far.  I had previously said that I didn't want to post about it until after I recieved my grade, in case anyone happened to read it and it somehow affect my grade for the clerkship.  I've decided that I'll just talk about it now, but maybe in a more vague manner.  And like I said, I don't mean to be whiney or complainey, but I'm doing this more as a way of having something to look back to later on.  I want something I can refer to, when I forget the particulars of why I was so unhappy on this rotation, so that I know what things to watch out for when I'm deciding what specialty to go into or what sites to apply for residency. 

   First off, and this is not unique to surgery by any means, who you have to work with is SO crucial to everything.  Your co-worker's attitudes and styles set the tone for everything, so when you work with people who are passive aggressive, hate patients, don't want to be bothered by anyone, and are in a bad mood (because they are tired and overworked), it rubs off on the entire team.
   One thing that especially bothers me is some of the unprofessionalism I've witnessed from the more senior residents, who should be acting as role models for the interns and med students.  The way one of the senior residents talks about the patients behind their backs is appalling.  He casts judgement on all of them, doesn't care about their well-being whatsoever, and has even gone as far as calling them profanities.  Every time he opens his mouth, I find myself thinking, "Do you even LIKE patients?!"  I'm sure everyone has their periods of being frustrated by patients, but ultimately, isn't the reason most of us go into medicine is because we want to take care of people?  Or maybe that's just me.  Anyway, this guy just seems to despise patients and has absolutely no respect for most of them, so I don't really know what his deal is.
   Another thing I have a huge issue with, is how little respect many of the team members have for eachother.  They talk bad about one another behind eachother's backs, all the while in front of everyone else, making everyone in earshot feel extremely awkward.  Most of the time they are complaining about something that the other person has no idea they are even doing wrong.  It would be so much easier if they would just say to that person, directly, what they are doing wrong, and then they can just fix it!  And then everyone will be happy!  Some of the team members can't even show respect for the attending!  There is one girl, whose facial expressions allow you to read her thoughts like a book.  I've learned to watch her face during rounds (for pure entertainment on my part), because when other people are talking, including the attendings, she makes several expressions of disgust and contempt.  Maybe she doesn't realize how expressive she is, and has no idea that she is displaying her feelings for the whole team to see?

  That said, there ARE some things I like about this rotation.  In fact, all the things I don't like about this rotation are mostly dependent on who I'm working with.  And I'm not really sure if that's unique to this particular department?  Obviously I can't generalize these personalities to ALL surgeons, so we'll see how my experience on GI surgery is.  I particularly like the short get-right-to-the-point rounds.  From what little time I've spent in the OR so far, I like it!  I really like seeing patients, whether it's waking them up at an ungodly hour to preround on them, or popping in to say hi during rounds, I really enjoy all the little interactions I have.  I especially love the crazy patients.  I find them to be an entertaining challenge.  Luckily, I think I will come across crazy patients in any field of medicine. 

   Finally, I'll leave you with one of my favorite patient encounters.  There is one patient who suffered a severe traumatic brain injury, and is now severely disabled: physically and mentally.  He has a lot of trouble speaking, and most of the time, his words come out all mumbled and slurred.  Because he isn't really able to comunicate, a lot of the times on rounds the doctors would just ignore him and talk about him like he couldn't hear them.  Every morning I would go in to preround on him, and he began to be able to talk more and more.  One day, when I went to see him, he said, "yyyygghhh zzzhhhccckkin mmmeeaaaaan."  I had to have him repeat it several times, saying, "I really want to understand what you're saying, sir, but I can't!"  Finally, I was able to make out that he was saying, "You've been checking on me."  And I said "Ooohhhh... Yes! I have been checking on you every morning!"  He replied, "I appreciate it."     

    It's the little things that make me happy.

The 5 Types of Trauma Patients

   I only have one more week of trauma surgery left, and I am counting down the days.  I haven't posted anything about my experiences yet, but that isn't because I don't have anything to say.  Rather, I have a LOT to say, but I'll feel a bit more comfortable saying it after I get my official surgery clerkship grade.  After all, this is a public blog and you never know who reads these things.
   Long story short: let's just say I am miserable on this rotation.  This is the first time EVER that I have doubted my decision to go into medicine.  I'm really hoping that GI surgery will be better.  If not, at least I have OB/Gyn next, which hopefully will be a pick-me-up!


   Anyway, something funny I noticed is that there are about 5 types of trauma patients.  99% of patients on our service fall into one of the following categories:

1) "Old man river" or frail old lady who trips over their cat/carpet/feet/etc

2) Intoxicated person riding their bike who gets hit by a car

3) Person in a car accident (often involves someone being intoxicated or running from the police)

4) Adrenaline-seeking young man who gets injured on his ATV/watersport jump/other dare-devil activity

5) Man with too much testosterone (and/or drugs/alcohol on board) who gets punched/shot/stabbed

*** We also saw about 4 people who got injured by a horse (some variation of getting kicked/stomped/thrown off) in the span of a week.  Who knew so many people ride horses around here?!

Thoughts On The Totem Pole Of Authority In Medicine

   As in most fields, there is a distinct rank of authority in medicine, and at the very bottom of the totem pole, is the med student.  You could argue that pre-meds are the very bottom of the totem pole, but they have more of an observational role, so they don't really count in that sense.

   As third year medical students in the hospital, it is quite obvious that we are the "nobodies" of the team, especially early on in the year, when we don't know much about how the hospital works, or the politics of the team, or even how to do simple tasks.  Trust me, I'm totally fine with the pecking order.  I know my place!  But something that I find a little frustrating is how the more senior members of the team don't help you out in the least, they just stare as you awkwardly flounder.  I'm not asking for anyone to hold my hand, but it'd be nice if they could just think back to what it was like to be a medical student, not knowing anything, and be a little more direct with how things are supposed to run.  Seriously though - MS3's are not mind readers!  If we were, we wouldn't have gone into medicine, we'd be sipping champagne and laughing on our yaughts we bought with all our lottery/stock-market-won riches.

   I will say that there are some interns, residents and attendings who do remember what it was like to be a medical student.  They give you little hints and nudges, and those few moments they donate of their precious time help us out tremendously.  However, I have met several residents who obviously have absolutely no recollection of what being an MS3 is like.  They just assume you know what they know at their current state of training, and look at you like an idiot when you ask them how to do things - all the while being annoyed that you exist.

   I'll admit, it's easy to fall into this trap.  I'm thinking of a time I was shadowing as an MS1.  That day, there happened to be an undergrad shadowing too.  I think I was annoyed because I knew the attention of the attending wouldn't be solely on me that day.  I mean, was this undergrad even smart enough to get into med school?  Anyway, I found myself getting irritated with the undergrad throughout the day, especially because I kinda got stuck baby-sitting her.  Later, I thought back to my experiences as an undergrad, and how nobody in the hospital cared you existed.  I remember how surprised I was when I realized what a difference it made in the way people treated you when you moved from being a pre-med to being a medical student.  In retrospect, I feel terribly guilty for being irritable towards the undergrad.  Afterall, that was me just a few years before!  I hope that when I move on to residency, I learn from my previous mistake, and from the mistake I see a lot of residents making.  I hope that I am the helpful, enthusiastic resident, who the med students go to for things that come up.  Yeah, it takes more effort to be that resident, but the med students will be so much better for it.  And isn't that what training to be a doctor is all about?  Providing more compassionate and competent future doctors?!

Day #1 of Surgery

   Today was the orientation for my surgery clerkship, and while getting introduced to the OR was exciting, I learned two very important lessons:

1.  I don't know anything

2. Get comfortable with looking like an idiot

  Tomorrow is my first real day, and I start on trauma surgery.  I have to report at 5:45am, and that's only because I don't have any patients yet.  From now on, I'll be reporting at about 5am everyday, six days a week.  Here we go!

I Wonder What An IUD Looks Like On MRI

   One of the surprise perks of being a leader for my school's chapter of MSFC was getting a free one-year membership to the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals.  And what's so great about being a member of ARHP is that you get to read the medical journal Contraception online FO FREE!  Let me just get one thing straight really quickly - I hate reading medical journals.  They are super dry, overly-detailed, and they just pile up and take up space in my room (*cough* JAMA *cough*).  But I love reading Contraception.  Maybe this is a hint that I am meant to go into OB/Gyn, the fact that I actually enjoy reading about it over and over.
   Anyway, I just got a letter asking if I want to renew my membership.  It costs $50 for students, but if I pay that, I think I actually get a PRINT copy of the journal... Tempting.  Very tempting.  I'm honestly considering renewing for $50.  Especially considering I will be saving a lot of money pretty soon... (more to come on that)
 

Hey, look - it's MY brain! (Also, notice how lumpy my skull is...)

    I saw this article, about the MRI safety of intrauterine devices.  Just a few weeks ago, I got an MRI as a control subject for some psychiatry study on campus.  I didn't get paid or anything, but I got to look at my brain FO FREE, so I said, "hey why not?!"  (Btw are you beginning to see a theme here about me loving things 'FO FREE'?)  So yeah, I got a kick out of it because it was completely relevant to me and my beloved Mirena, but just one week too late!


   I probably will end up coughing up 50 bucks... if only to amuse myself like this again.

Getting All My "Girly-girl" Urges Out Before Surgery

   Just finished my shelf exam for the psych rotation.  The good news: I'm all done (pretty sure I passed).  The bad news: I felt a lot of the questions were way out of left field, so I don't think I have any chance of honoring.  Oh well, at least I got good evaluations!  Psych was fun, and I learned a LOT about people, but I'm excited to have a break from crazy people.  

   Next up for me is surgery, which I'm excited for.  We get a week-long "summer break" before we start, so I am going camping on the beach in Oregon again (look out for a post on that later).  I am really excited because we had such a great time last year, and it will be a really nice mini-vacation.  Then, later next week BF's mom is in town from the East Coast, so I'm excited to meet her!  I wish we got a week off between all the rotations *sigh*.

   Anyway, I am interested to see what surgery is gonna be like.  I really have no idea what to expect, so I'm going in with an open mind.  Since scrubbing in will require short, un-polished nails, I took the psych rotation as my last chance to have girly nails.  And naturally, I had to take pics.