Exercise Endorphins

   Last week, I finally started to get serious about trying to lose weight.  I mean, I have a bridesmaid dress sitting in my closet that I need to fit into by May!  It almost zips all the way, it's just a teensy bit too tight (due to a bit of extra weight from interview feasts + holiday feasts).  I have plenty of time, and I know I can do it, so I'm not too worried.  I just need to do it.

   So anyway, last week, in addition to my usual running the puppy every other day (BF and I trade off), I finally joined this dance studio I've been stalking online for years.  I ended up going 4 times in the week, and I loved it!  I forgot how happy it makes me to dance.  And I love how concentrating on technique and the routine completely clears my mind, which is hard to do to a medical student.  So I can't wait to keep going for the next two months while I still live here.

   Last week I did really well.  I stuck to my diet, I worked out 6/7 days, and actually worked out twice in one day a few times.  I felt like a million bucks.  Then, I took a break from dieting for a day so that I could pig out enjoy Superbowl snacks, which was fine because I planned for it.  But then Monday, I think a combo of not getting enough sleep, transitional exhaustion from actually having to be on a rotation again, and the temptation of leftover Superbowl snacks in the fridge was the perfect recipe for an unplanned binge TERRIBLE diet/exercise day.  I ended up feeling like crap all Monday, Tuesday, and first half of today.  It was so hard to get back into the zone I was in last week - until I went on my puppy run.  I felt so much better afterward!  It was like an instant mood boost!  I think I may have crossed over to that point I've always heard people talk about, where you become "addicted" to exercise and feel crappy when you don't do it.  I've never been like that before!  Anyway, now that I know how much better I feel if I just get out there and DO something, it won't be as hard to drag myself to do it.

The last month has started off a little rocky...

I can't believe how good I was last month.  I ran almost 30 miles! 

Something's Gotta Give

   I've always been a stress eater.  In fact I'm the type of person who eats for comfort after a long day, even if the day was good.  It just makes me feel good.  And I can't control myself.  It's my drug, I'll admit it.  So every now and then I need to go to rehab, aka go on a diet.

   Depending on how long you've been reading my blog, you may or may not know that back in 2010, I lost 30 pounds through diet and exercise.  I was taking a class on nutrition at UCLA, and learned a lot about healthy eating, as well as the fact that I was borderline obese based on my body fat measurement.  That was a wake-up call.  Using all the tips I learned from my nutrition class (taught by the amazing Dr. Heber who wrote What Color Is Your Diet), and with some moral support from my friend J who also went on a diet with me, I was quite successful in getting down to weight which put me in a healthy BMI.

   I kept that weight off for two solid years... until boards.  Boards rolled around and I crept up 8 pounds-ish.  Normally, I fluctuate a good 5 pounds or so at any given time, but this weight was staying on.  And then my surgery rotation hit - another 8 ish pounds on top of that.  And since then, I've been about 15 pounds heavier, and holding this weight.

   I refuse to get back into an unhealthy weight.  So that's why I have to do something about it before it gets out of control.  I think the major wake-up call for me was trying to put on some jeans a few weeks ago, and none of them fit.  NOT EVEN MY FAT JEANS.  When you wear scrubs all the time, it's easy to ignore the weight gain.

   Since my jean-nightmare-wake-up-call, I've been trying to "diet" again, but I put that in quotes because I have been extremely undisciplined.  I last like one day and then eat horribly again the next.  It's very hard battling between my logical reasoning of needing to eat healthy and my emotional longing for a good box of mac n cheese, especially when my brain is fried after a long day.  It's too easy to make bad decisions.

   So today, I went jogging with my friend E, who has recently decided she would like to get down to her own healthy weight.  She was telling me about her recent discovery of keeping a food diary to keep herself accountable for what she eats.  I used one in the past when I lost all my weight, and it was extremely helpful and motivating.  I think I've been resisting it lately because I thought I could lose the weight without it, but obviously I can't control myself.  So I've decided I'm going back to food journaling.  It becomes tedious sometimes, but it's often a necessary self-check, and makes you reflect in the moment, "Do I really need to eat that entire box of mac and cheese, when that's the calories allotted for my whole day?!'  Also, it's nice to have someone else who is going through the same thing I am, so we can motivate each other.

   Hopefully this works... because I'm getting really frustrated.

Hello 2012, I've Been Expecting You

I'm about a week late, but Block 5 has already started out busy, so it took me a while to finish this post.  Before I talk about my goals for 2012, I wanted to look back and see how I did on my goals for 2011.

Last year's resolutions revisited:

1. "Do some serious soul-searching/spiritual discovery": I honestly did give some thought to this throughout the year, but I interestingly ended up in the very same spot I started out.  Which is okay with me, it just means that now I am more sure about how I feel!
2. "Lose weight/maintain a healthy lifestyle": I definitely accomplished my goal of getting back to my normal weight after the holidays last year.  As far as eating healthy and exercising on a regular basis, I tend to go through phases.  At times I eat ridiculously healthy and at one point was training for a half marathon, and then there are other times where I gorge myself and don't work out for over a month.  I think overall, the two phases end up canceling each other out so that my overall lifestyle is about mostly healthy. Also, I have been able to keep off all of the weight I lost in 2010, so I'm really happy about that.
3. "Put more effort into establishing and maintaining relationships":  Friendship-wise, I think I lived up to this goal as good as I could have imagined.  I feel like I've really strengthened a lot of my friendships here in med school, and I've learned to appreciate all my friends for all the different qualities they have to offer.  I've also really enjoyed the cooking/dining out adventures I've had with my friends this year, and I can't wait to have more.  What can I say, we just LOVE food!  I've tried to keep in contact with my UCLA and high school friends as best I can, but this is still a work in progress for me.
4. "Take pictures whenever possible": Along with my diet/exercise goal, I went through phases with this one too.  I think I managed to take a lot of great pictures in 2011, and can't wait to take more in 2012.  I will just have to find more opportunities to take them!
5. "Cook some delicious stuff": I more than exceeded at this goal.  2011 was FULL of cooking adventures with my sister or with my friends.  I grew an appreciation for the Food Network.  I also discovered my FAVORITE cook book store in San Francisco: Omnivore Books.  Towards the end of the year, I stopped cooking as much due to lack of time and excess laziness, but I got a professional mixer for Christmas, so I've been re-inspired to cook again!

New resolutions for 2012:

1. Continue a healthy lifestyle:  I would like to continue to eat FAIRLY healthy.  I also would like to get back into an exercise routine, especially with boards studying coming up, I don't want to just be sitting for 12 hours per day for three months.
2. Gun it up for boards (in non-malicious way):  Since all of our classes are graded Pass/No Pass, I've made the conscious decision to spend less time trying to "get an A" in my classes, and more time keeping my life balanced with friends, relaxation, etc.  After an extremely encouraging meeting with one of the school's student advisors, I am feeling energized and ready to work my ass off for boards.  OB/Gyn doesn't require a ridiculously high boards score, but I would really like to have options when I apply to residency programs. I'm feeling like I can get a really good score if I put in the time.
3. Maintain a balanced, happy life with boards studying (and later with clinical rotations).
4. Blog more: about whatever! Towards the end of 2011, I sort of dropped the ball on blogging.  I got really busy, and also felt like I didn't have much to say.  

So here's to another amazing year!  2012 is going to be a year of hard work, and hopefully worthwhile rewards.  

A little visit to La La Land

Thanks to a cheap deal on Southwest,  I spent the three day weekend visiting some friends in LA.  I love when Southwest has cheap deals.  I really should get one of those rapid reward account things.

Anyway,  I got to see people I missed very much and we had such a fun time eating, going out, and walking on Venice beach in 80 degree weather!  PS- Sac is like 30 degrees these days....

Anyway, here are a few pics from our Venice beach excursion.  Unfortunately I did not capture any photos from our lobster pizza fiasco (can you say "most awkward situation of 2011"?!)  I took a "vacation" from my diet for the trip since half the fun of visiting friends is eating out.  Unfortunately, I gained back all the weight I lost in the last two weeks in a matter of three days.  Ooopsie!  That's okay!  Back on the healthy train!

Speaking of the healthy train, today I went to my primary care provider to get some blood work done.  My dad has extremely high cholesterol and the rest of his side of the family doesn't trust Western medicine/never goes to the doctor so I have no idea what their levels are like.  I figured it would be good to just know where I stand because its something I will probably just have to be extra careful about.  While I was getting blood work done anyway, my doctor ordered glucose levels, TSH, CBC, etc too.  Might as well just make sure everything is fine!  I'm still waiting for my results.  I hope everything is normal!  One good thing is that I noticed my blood pressure was nice and low (116/71) which is good.  I don't wanna have to worry about hypertension any time soon.

Anyway, enough of my jibber jabber - here are some pictures of the weirdos at Venice (there were more out than usual)... oh and my friends :P

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot, And Never Brought To Mind

It's the end of another year (a great one, I would say) and man, did it go by fast!  2010 was a year of milestones and changes.  Here is a little recap of some of the highlights:

The year I lost 25 pounds (in a healthy way, mind you)

The year I went to Cabo for Spring Break with some beautiful ladies!

The year I went to Big Bear :)

The last year of being a Gamma Phi, living in the house, and getting my senior celebration on!

The year my mom went to Afghanistan and came home safely 

The year we did Vegas Gphi Style

The year I graduated from UCLA

The year I started dating someone special :)

The year I moved into my new place and started my new life as a medical student

The year I got inducted into medical school

The year I made lots of new friends.  And the first year of our Festivus party, where someone's hair caught on fire :) hehe

What a great year!  Can't wait to see what happens in 2011.  I'm still working on my 2011 goals and resolutions, so stay tuned!

It's so simple, yet so hard...

    So today I went to donate blood on a study break, and when they were taking my stats, I realized what an impact my weight loss and healthy lifestyle change has actually had on my health.  I lowered my resting heart rate to 60, which is very good!  I am not sure exactly what my heart rate was before, but I know for sure it wasn't as low as 60 beats per minute.  Also, and probably more exciting, I lowered my blood pressure to 110/70.  I used to be anywhere around 120/80 (which is about "normal", although they are changing the definition of "normal" to more around 110/70).  Having a blood pressure this low is exciting because it means that I am further away from being hypertensive, which is very unhealthy.  It is amazing to see what an impact healthy eating and exercise has made on my health and general well-being. 
    On another note, I have hit a slight slump in my weight loss, in that I have been strictly following my plan, but haven't lost any weight in the past week.  This is okay though, because after all, it is finals.  And staying at the same weight instead of gaining several pounds from stress and overeating is fine by me.  Also, I've noticed I'm a lot stressed this finals season, but that could be due to my senioritis.  Unfortunately I will probably gain some weight in Cabo from drinking and eating out, but I'll continue my healthy eating once I get back, so it should be okay.
     Speaking of Cabo, I am really excited! I keep imagining myself in the warm sun on the beach, and I can't wait!  Today, some reporters from NBC News knocked on my sorority's door asking if anyone who was going to Mexico for Spring Break would say a few words for their story.  Now first of all, I was in my typical finals get-up, which meant g-phi shirt with obnoxious yellow sweatpants and no make-up.  And the guy was like, "You look fine!"... YEAH RIGHT!  I am not about to go on the news to look like an absolute scrub.  Second of all, the story they were doing was about the danger in Mexico right now.  So obviously, I would look like some idiot sorority girl who is too ignorant to know what is going on down there because all I care about is getting drunk.  Let me just go on the news and make a complete fool of myself... NOT!  I mean, I know Mexico is dangerous right now, and believe me, I AM a little nervous, but we are going to Cabo, which is super white-washed.  And the story they wanted to relate me to was about some couple who got killed in a Mexican town called Ciudad Juarez, which is no where near Cabo.  Anyway, the guy was really pushy and I didn't appreciate it.

Haterade

     Okay, so I'm sorry for yet another post about weight, but after all, this is my blog.  Since I have been following the advice of my physiology of nutrition class and eating a lot healthier, people have been driving me crazy.  I mean, I don't mind that people mention when they've noticed that I've lost weight, but what really gets me is when they have to remark about what I am eating.  I am getting tired of people putting in their two cents at every meal, or making some snide remark about "oh that's all you are going to eat?"  I am tired of all of the negative attention because it is making me feel like I am doing something wrong, which I am not.  I probably know more about nutrition than any one of them, and I am simply following what I have learned in my nutrition class, which is taught by very prestigious doctors at the UCLA Center for Nutrition.  I am not being unhealthy (i.e. anorexic or bulimic) so I would really appreciate it if people would mind their own business about what I eat.
      Excuse me for wanting to change my life so that I am less at risk for diabetes and cardiovascular disease, the latter of which is the number one killer in our country.  These diseases are preventable, and I just because everyone else would rather remain ignorant about their lifestyles, does not mean that they can judge me for choosing mine.  I don't give a fuck what other people are eating... if they want to eat 3000 calories per day of a high fat and sugar diet, be my guest.  But I would appreciate it if people would stop looking at me like I am anorexic every time I eat a salad and fruit instead of lasagna.  I'm tired of feeling like I have to defend myself at every meal.  This has been going on for quite some time now, and today I just snapped.  I know what I am doing is right so I'm going to just keep on doing it.  That is all.

So, it's been a while...

Though it seems like I have been neglectful of this blog, my most recent lack of entries has more been due to the fact that there isn't much to write about, so I have been "saving up" in a sense.

It is the end of 9th week, and finals are upon us.  My first one is biochem on Tuesday, which I haven't even thought about yet... oops!  It shouldn't be too bad though.  I ended up doing really poorly on my Cardiovascular Health midterm, so I kinda have to rock the final to get a decent grade in the class.  I'm a little worried; I don't want to get kicked out of med school before I get in!  I am just going to bust my ass for the final, and hopefully I can pull it off!

Other than that minor setback, things have been going pretty well.  My weight loss plan has been working, and as of today, I have lost 19 pounds since January!  I can notice a difference, but I still don't feel like I have lost that much weight.  I think I don't look that different, but it's definitely an improvement.  While I have been working pretty hard, it has actually been easier than it ever has been for me.  For some reason, this time I am just really motivated to keep going.  I think a lot of the inspiration has come from my Physiology of Nutrition class this quarter, in that it has really opened my eyes to how I needed to change my eating habits just for my future health.  That's probably why this time has been so successful, because instead of temporarily "restricting" myself, I have made a conscious effort to actually change my eating habits.  One of the things we talked about in class was some of the psychological factors behind overeating and what triggers it.  Our professor told us to try and figure out what triggers our urges to binge, so that we can either address the cause, or be prepared to consciously resist.  I have come to the conclusion that one of my triggers is stress over upcoming midterms/finals.  In the past, around these times I tend to eat lots of junk food as a sort of consolation to dealing with the stress and negativity of studying for tests.  But this habit is not healthy, and obviously took its toll on me in that I gained about 25 pounds in college.  Now, when I get the urge to binge on copious amounts of delicious junk food, I just remind myself why I am feeling that way, and continue to eat normally.  I've been successful so far, but who knows if I can resist in med school.  At least I am excited to hopefully be able to start med school off "fresh".  After all, as a doctor it is important to keep up with your own health.  I wouldn't feel right if I was an overweight MD telling my patients to live a healthy lifestyle that I wasn't even living. 

 I have continued on my ER project, watching episodes here and there when I can squeeze them.  I am now on season 3, but I still have a long way to go.  I think my favorite character is Carter, who starts the series as a third year medical student.  I just really like how the show follows him in his progression from student to doctor, although I have seen some of the later episodes, and I'm not looking forward to all the trouble he gets in later on.  I know tv shows and movies are not indicative of what a doctor's life is really like, but they still get me excited for the future, so I will continue to guiltlessly indulge!

Life Post-Midterms

Last week was just as exhausting as I ever imagined.  By Thursday night, I was definitely ready to let loose, and accomplished this by the usual night at Maloney's.  I'm not gonna lie:  I'm totally over Maloney's, but there really isn't much else to do in Westwood as far as going out is concerned.  Also, I'm not looking forward to getting my midterm grades back... don't think I did very well in biochem or cardiovascular physiology, but at least I aced my nutrition one.

Speaking of nutrition, for our class, we have to go in and get our body compositions measured.  I got mine done this morning, and let's just say it was definitely NOT the way to start out my week.  Turns out, I have a high enough body fat percentage to put me in the obese category.  Yikes, I was expecting it to be bad, but not THAT bad.  J, S and I have been dieting and exercising since the beginning of this quarter in order to slim down for our spring break cabo trip and I have already lost about 9 pounds.  I can't even imagine what my body composition would have said if I hadn't been losing weight for five weeks.  Well, at least the three of us are doing really well, and I am actually really proud of myself for being so disciplined.  I originally wanted to lose about 20 pounds overall, but the nutrition center put my target weight much lower than my original goal, so now I am shooting for about a 30 pound overall loss.  Sounds daunting, but I am already 30% there, right?

And don't worry, we are doing this all the healthy way.  I'm not starving myself by any means.  I'm just eating healthier, cutting the crap out of my diet, and exercising as much as I should have been all along.  I am really excited for our final results and our trip!  And at least I don't have to worry about it falling through since everything is already booked!  This week, the group that is going to Cabo (J and I don't know S's friends yet) is going out to a gay bar in Weho, which I am very excited about. I have always wanted to go to one and it sounds like we will have a fun little group.  Another thing I can check off my "To Do Before I Graduate" list!

This upcoming weekend, some girls and I were planning on going to the Grand Canyon on a road trip, but unfortunately that fell through.  So looks like I am going to have to find something else to keep me busy.  Maybe I can check off a few things on my "To Do Before I Graduate" list! What does this list consist of?  Well, it might be a good idea for me to come up with a solid one haha.