Just a few measly days until "summer break" is over and Block 3 begins. My Europe vacation was a blast (a post on that to come soon)! For some odd jet-lag reason, starting during my vacation, I am now a grandma. I go to bed early and wake up WAY too early for a normal human being to wake up naturally. It's kinda nice having more hours awake in the daylight, but the going to bed early part sucks sometimes.
On the one hand, I am annoyed to be starting up classes again after getting such a short (6 week) break. On the other hand, I am glad that all my classmates will be back in town so there will actually be more people to do stuff with - whenever we have free time, that is.
Anyway, the point of this post is to address a "problem" I have been noticing in the last couple of months. It has been especially bad in the last few days. The problem is that med school has ruined my ability to relax. If you know me, you know that I love to relax. You know, sleep in late, stay in your pajamas all day, watch tv, read a good book, work on some artsy/crafty project for funsies, just sit outside and enjoy nature, RELAX... Med school has done something horrible to me, because I just can't enjoy these things in the same way anymore! Don't get me wrong, I've tried, and I still keep trying, but every time I watch tv just to watch tv I find myself itching to multitask, so I end up gchatting, texting and editing pictures/facebooking while watching tv. It just isn't the same, though. And now, when I do the things that I used to think were relaxing, I find myself feeling stressed out or anxious. I keep getting the feeling that I'm forgetting something, or that I should be working on something/doing something. I don't think I'm having these feelings about anything in particular, just general anxiousness. Also, I've noticed that now, since I have such little free time, that once I actually have free time, I get so anxious about using my free time efficiently and getting the most out of it, that I just get overwhelmed and end up not really doing much with it.
I think it all comes down to something that I have been conditioned to fear: wasting time. I used to love wasting time, especially because I had plenty to spare. Now that it is so hard to find free time, I am scared to death of wasting it. So there is all this pressure to use it wisely. I think I am just being a control freak. I need to just let go and let myself enjoy things as they happen, as opposed to planning out things to every detail so that they run perfectly and most efficiently.
I think another way to combat the anxiousness is exercise. As soon as these stupid stitches on the bottom of my feet (just had a little biopsy done - don't worry it's probably fine) heal, I'm jumpin back on the horse!
PS- Right now I am dogsitting Cody. He is adorable and has laser eyes.