Scratch That

     In my last post I talked about how I was going to be stepping back from my research for a bit after some set-backs occurred.  Well, I was wrong.  My research mentor actually wants to move to the next step of re-submitting for IRB approval with modifications like right now.  So, I thought I was only going to have to worry about planning Mirth for the next two weeks (which is plenty to handle itself), butttttt I was wrong.

     Man, at least I can say I really ended 4th year with a bang!  I have been SO BUSY!

The Tower

     Last month, when I was playing with my zombie tarot cards for some insight into February, I got a card that didn't make much sense to me at the time - the tower.  The tower represents "a sudden change, questioning conventions, destruction".  Naturally, a card like this would worry any normal control-freak.  But there's no point in worrying over things that haven't happened yet, especially things we don't even know about yet.

     A few days ago it came crashing down on me.  Though my research project had been going slower than I originally anticipated, it had at least been moving forward.  I had collected my first month of data.  I sat down to enter all of the data and perform some rudimentary preliminary analysis on it (to have something to turn in for my fourth year med school research project).  What I found was worrying.

     My research project involves a survey, and unfortunately, over half of the respondents weren't answering the most important question appropriately.  Based on their responses, they most likely didn't understand what I was asking for.  At this point, I was disappointed, but I kept moving on.

     I met with my research mentor to go over the preliminary findings (for the purposes of my medical school project due), and as soon as we got to the part about over half of the respondents not answering that question appropriately, he threw me off that tower.  "Oh, you're gonna have to stop your study then," he said bluntly.  "Basically, we're gonna have to go back to the drawing board, rewrite that question and start over."  He was very reassuring that this stuff just happens in research, and that we'll get the study done in due time, but it will likely have to be my residency research project.

     While I completely understand the reasoning behind it, I was still a little surprised.  I wasn't quite expecting something this drastic in response to the lack of appropriate responses.  And what was even more of a surprise, was how this all made me feel.  I would have expected to feel angry or frustrated, especially considering the amount of time and effort I have put into this over the past YEAR, however, I felt relieved.  I definitely want to finish, and someday publish, this study, but now there is no way to finish the project before I graduate, so it essentially has to be put on hold while I figure out how to reword that part of the survey - and where I'm going to be next year.  So that means I actually get a bit of a break from it while all this other crazy Match and graduation stuff is going on.  *phew*

     Oh yeah, and 22 days till Match...

In the grand scheme of things, 30 days is the blink of an eye

   Yep, shit is getting real now, y'all.  30 days until Match Day - the day that our fate is decided.

What I've been doing to keep my mind off of it:

• Co-hosted a bridal shower
• Performed "My Angry Vagina" in the Vagina Monologues
• Spending 9 - 5 in a dissection anatomy didactic
• Working on the class yearbook
• Planning and filming stuff for Mirth Control
• Scrambling to work on and finish my research project that is due next Friday (to get credit for 4th year).  Unfortunately, I only have preliminary data to turn in for the school project deadline, but I plan to submit a more complete project later for actual publication. 
• Zumba, running, Hip-hop, and dieting
• Crafting when time permits (not often lately)

   I'm getting more excited, and trying not to be worried, because there is absolutely nothing I can do at this point to change the outcome of the match.  I just wanna get it over with, rip the bandaid off, and find out where we're going to spend the next 5-7 years of our lives!  

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot And Never Brought To Mind

   Another year has come and gone.  It seems like each year of my life keeps going by faster and faster.  2013 was the year I turned 25 - a quarter century of life - and I can't believe how far I've come so far.  This last year was a year of self-realization, hard work, tangible progress, and self-rediscovery.  But most of all, 2013, especially towards the end, was a year of recharge, which was much needed after my 2012.

The year BF and I raised our puppy, Melvin

The year of many puppy dates with our friends

The year J visited me several times :)

The year we went camping in Oregon - for the 3rd time

The year of "google hang-outs" with old UCLA dorm friends

The year I attended a special MSFC conference

The year I visited H in Atlanta

The year I visited E in LA

The year I saw all my Gphi girls in LA

The year I re-discovered my creative side

The year I hosted an MSFC potluck at my house

The year BF and I rocked our sub-i's :P

The year I took and passed Step 2 CK and Step 2 CS

The year I traveled all over for interviews... including the Bay Area

... and Chicago

... And Philly

... and Boston

The year I worked my butt off creating an original research project, while simultaneously also working on someone else's project

The year I visited my sister in SF

   What a great year 2013 was! I can't wait to see what's in store for 2014.  

Happy Medical Monday!

   Hey there! Happy Medical Monday!  If you haven't had a chance yet, make sure you head on over to Your Doctor's Wife for the monthly blog-hop!

   It still hasn't hit me yet.  I finished my Gyn Oncology Sub-I on Friday, and I still can't help but feeling like there is something I'm supposed to be doing.  Overall, it was an insanely busy month, but an awesome month nonetheless.  I actually ended up working way harder and for more hours than I did on SICU! My favorite part: the patients.  I had the privilege of helping take care of some of the most interesting, inspirational women I've met.  Hopefully I'll get a chance to blog in more detail about some of my favorite experiences now that I'm starting a super relaxed month-long elective, Emergency Medicine Ultrasound.  My requirements for this month are to work a total of 16 hours per week... which is what I was working in one day on Gyn Onc.  

   It hasn't quite hit me yet, but I'm officially done with all of my "hard" stuff for this year.  I finished my two hard Sub-I's, SICU and Gyn Onc.  I finished Step 2CK, Step 2CS.  I have asked all my letter of rec writers, and they've said yes.  I'm still working on my personal statement, but I already have a solid draft and a more clear direction about where I'm heading with it now.  So I'm basically just tying up all the loose ends on my residency application (and actually entering it in ERAS).  

   But the one major thing looming over my head that I've had to put on hold for a few months while things have been crazy, is my research project I'm working on for my senior project.  I'm way behind. :(

Also, I recently read an article saying that someone at UCSF was doing the exact same study, so that kinds sucks.  But at least I can have more information heading into my project, I suppose.  

   Well, it's nice to human again after putting everything in my life on hold for a few months.  And I mean everything.  I'm back, y'all!!! :)

Puppy was mad that we left him alone so long...

So Close

   Tomorrow I take Step 2 CK.  I've been studying for a little over two weeks now, only taking two days "off" to be able to take school clinical exams.  Studying has been going okay, in fact, it's been really nice to set my own schedule.  I used to hate studying at home, but this time, I've really enjoyed it.  I wake up, take my time, don't even get dressed for the first half of the day, play with the puppy during study breaks.  BF and I took our practice exam last week, and it went fine, so I'm hoping it's a pretty accurate prediction of my score.  I think the only reason we were able to get away with studying such a short time, is because we just came off our Internal Medicine rotation, and we actually studied really hard during that rotation.  I'm feeling a bit anxious for the test tomorrow, but I am so excited to get it overwith, and I am incredibly glad that I don't have to study any longer (for now).  After tomorrow, our real vacation starts. A whole week and a half *gasp* of vacation, where we can just relax.  Well, there actually is a little "work" I need to do during that time (data entry for research, and working on another research project), but at least we'll be doing fun stuff in between.  

Was tired of studying one afternoon, so I got my crafting on, and made these uteri magnets for my friends

Flashbacks to Step 1 studying

Enjoying the view, or plotting their escape?

   Well, here goes nothing.  This first couple of months of fourth year are gonna be pretty stressful, as I really front-loaded my schedule, but I have a good feeling about this year.

Finally!

   I think I finally won over one of my OB/Gyn advisors.  If you recall, many months ago, I met him and had bit of a reality slap, finding out that I had much work to do to make myself a more competitive residency candidate.  Well, a couple of meetings and many months later, I pitched him my research proposal, and he loved it!  He was really impressed with my ideas, and is really excited about them.  I'm actually glad he pushed me to do my own research project, because I am really excited about it now.  I came up with an idea all on my own, and I'm going to see it through, start to finish.  And at the end of fourth year, I'll have created an entire research project on my own!  I'll probably blog more about the details of it later.

   In addition, I'm also working with one of the residents on a separate project, so now I'm working on not one - but TWO - research projects.  Who am I?! I would have never thought I'd be doing this, but I'm enjoying it so far, and I think it will feel really rewarding at the end, when I can say, "I did that!"

   Anyway, it seems like a small thing to get excited about, but I was feeling particularly happy about the fact that I ended up impressing someone who didn't seem to think much of me before.



   In other news, we have one week left of our third year.  One week.  I don't know how it went by so fast, maybe because I was buried in the hospital for a year, but I'm finally almost an MS4.  It's really sad, but I'm actually looking forward to studying for Step 2CK, because it means I can wake up when I want, set my own schedule, not have to worry about impressing anyone, and just do my thang.  This is so the opposite of how I felt after taking Step 1 haha.