Try Not To Blink, Everything Will Pass You By

   How is it already March?!  I feel like just yesterday I was finishing up with the winter holiday break and starting out of my Primary Care rotation.  The last two months of Primary Care just flew by.  Overall, primary care was okay.  I liked the hours, and I loved getting to know some of the patients, especially the old sassy ones.  What I didn't really care for were the types of problems that the patients come in for: musculoskeletal aches and pains, coughs/colds, etc just doesn't really tickle my fancy.  I did, however, get really jazzed when a woman would come in with OB/Gyn-related issues.  At one point, I knew more than my attending did about contraception, and that patient really looked to me and trusted my input.  I also didn't care for the pace.  It seemed to me that the attendings and residents moved SO SLOW in clinic.  And a lot of the day was spent waiting for patients to show up - and then they would be super late and throw off the whole day's schedule.
   I can't believe that we only have one more rotation of third year.  I am so ready to be done with third year.  I'm so tired of being evaluated 24/7 by tons of different people, who seem to have been given a script of feedback to give.  "You did a great job, you're right where you should be. Just keep doing what you're doing.  No, I can't really think of anything that you can work on" = pass.  It's just annoying to me because I'm doing much better work clinically than I was in the beginning of the year, but I'm more tired and burned out, so I'm just not as bubbly and gung-ho about everything, and it seems like those qualities are more important in our evaluations.  On the bright side, I feel really good about the fact that I have come a long ways over this year.  I have picked up so much knowledge about taking care of patients, I have become a lot more efficient, and I think I am pretty competent at H&Ps.  What I'm most proud about, is how much more confident I have become over the year in several aspects.  I'm no longer afraid of attendings or residents.  I feel comfortable expressing my opinion and demonstrating my skills.  I am so much more comfortable with patient interactions now.  I have even gotten to the point where I start counseling and introduce some of my thoughts about the assessment and plan to the patient before even discussing it with anyone (only if I'm pretty sure I know what's going on, of course).  So regardless of what my evaluations have been saying lately, I know I've improved drastically over this year, and I'm very happy with where I'm at now.  I can't wait to continue improving and learning, too.

   Things have been extremely busy lately, and it seems like everything is gearing up in my life right now.  Primary Care had a ton of projects and assignments to fill up our free time.  The research I'm working on with one of the OB/Gyn residents just got IRB approved, so that's gonna start taking off.  MIRTH is next week, so I've been working with some classmates to pull that together.  I submitted an application to go to a special leadership conference for MSFC in May (I really hope I get it!).  There are a bunch of other things going on too, and third year is almost over, so we're planning and scheduling our fourth year, which is stressful but super exciting!  I've already scheduled my USMLE Step 2 CK and CS dates.

   So this weekend is a nice chance to "relax" before my next, and last, rotation of third year: Internal Medicine.  It's gonna be rough, I already know.  But my plan is to just hit it hard, and study really hard during it - that way I'm ready to take Step 2 CK a couple of weeks after it's done.  This weekend is also going to be half dedicated to "get my shit together" before getting cozy living under my rock for the next two months.

I Love Crazy Old Bats

Pieces of flair on one of my preceptor's doors

    One of my favorite parts of primary care has been working with the geriatric population.  I just love old people, because they're a bit kooky, and they've gotten to the point in life where they don't care what anyone thinks anymore.  And sometimes they're just so sweet.  I had this elderly Asian woman one day, who was just so precious.  She told me that she wanted to see me again, and as she left the appointment, she gave my preceptor and I hugs, saying, "I love you."  

    I even like the demented elderly patients too.  When asked what we could do for her, one 90-something-year-old woman replied, "How do you get rich?"

Resident: "I wish I knew the answer to that ma'am."

Lady: "What would you do if you got rich?"

Resident: "Well, I'd probably spend more time with my family.  But I would still want to see patients too."

Lady: "Well, if you figure it out, call me."

   I love it when they get sassy.

I Can Feel Again

   So far, this year has been going really well.  I started my Primary Care rotation at Kaiser, and I like it!   My preceptors are all really friendly, laid-back, and most of them are really good with their patients.  I'm getting a little bored of rashes, colds, and "aches & pains", but overall, I like talking to the patients.  And sometimes, they come in, and you give them something that actually really helps them.

   I really like the Kaiser-type work environment.  I'm sure it'd be somewhat different for OB-Gyn than it is for primary care, but nevertheless, KP takes pretty good care of its employees, and I like that.

   I'm also just generally feeling much better.  The last couple of months before break, I was feeling super numb, burned out, and anhedonic.  Three weeks of vacation was absolutely necessary in my returning-to-normal, as was some sessions with the school psychologist, finishing the worst rotation ever (peds), and lots of puppy-time.  I finally feel like I'm getting back to my normal self, and enjoying things again.

   Training the puppy has been a blast.  When people told us beforehand that it was going to be like having a baby, I didn't understand what they meant, but it really is like having a baby!  Except, as a puppy, he is more in the "terrible twos"-toddler stage, where he gets into trouble all the time.  The first week or so, he would cry in his crate every night, which I was expecting, but I have never heard such a shrill, jarring noise come from an animal!  And when we would try to walk him, he would just go around us in circles on the leash, stop to smell everything, and just stop sometimes.  We've had him for three weeks now, and he has come a long way.  Now, when we put him to bed at night, he actually goes into his crate by himself, lies down, and then just sighs in defeat before he goes to sleep quietly.  He is also doing much better in the potty-training area, and hasn't had any accidents in over a week!  At first, I don't think he understood what it meant to hold his bladder, but now he goes to the door, and just sits there and stares at you when he wants to be let out - it's so cute.  It's amazing how fast a puppy can learn, but it's a lot of work, and he is a pretty good puppy.  I shlove him.

"I"m gonna take YOU for a walk!"

"Squirrel!"

Poopin-face

BF: "Why did you take a picture of me 'beating' the dog?!"
Me: "It looks like you're rubbing his tummy!"
LOL