So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

Yesterday was the first day of fall (my favorite season), and although it was still hot here in Sacramento, I could totally feel it.  Traditionally to most people, fall symbolizes dying - whether it's the sparse but colorful trees withering with the loss of each leaf, or mourning the final disappearance of the summer sun. To me, however, fall represents a time of change, and while I'm not entirely sure what changes are in store for me, I have a good feeling about this season.

Lately, I have been learning a lot more about myself and others, and I've started to get a really good grasp on the things I want out of friendships/relationships. I am finally starting to have the courage to refuse settling for less.  I think my yearly horoscope put it in terms that totally make sense:

"You'll no longer be able to give yourself short shrift or buy into co-dependent dynamics that put your needs on an eternal backburner. You're learning the hard way how to love yourself the way you want and deserve to be loved. Relationships must honor, dignify and respect your noble qualities to pass your stringent litmus test. But the good news is that you're learning to stand up and voice your romantic needs. No longer will you fall prey to the trap of giving in hopes of getting -- and that makes all the difference."


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On another note, this morning was the Body Donor Memorial Service for the families of the cadavers we have the privilege of exploring in anatomy.  It was a beautiful ceremony, with touching speeches from my classmates, and moving musical performances.  I sang with some of my classmates in an acapella group we like to call "Acoustic Shadows".  The name is a subtle nerdy med school joke (see what an acoustic shadow is here).  We have been practicing for about a month, (besides our two week fall vacation), and I think the performance turned out really nicely!  It was nice to be able to show a little bit of our appreciation for the donors, and I hope that the families at the service appreciated our song.  

And here is a video of our performance!

Med School Milestones

So I haven't blogged in a while, probably because there hasn't been anything TOO interesting going on lately.  Last week, we had a pretty invasive lab with our cadaver, where we had to completely detach his right leg.  Usually I don't really get grossed out by our cadaver (besides his funky smell), but this day was a little much for me.  First, I cut his penis right in half, which made even us girls cringe.  Then, a fellow member of my group did most of the hacking and sawing of the pelvic and spinal bones to detach the leg.  It was pretty gross in that for some reason it was just hard for me to "detach" myself from the fact that we were HACKING through a human body.  It reminded me of Dexter or something.  Oh well, it wasn't too bad, and at least by the time we got to him, he couldn't feel anything!

This morning, we learned to give a female pelvic exam on a plastic vagina simulator.  I know this may sound weird, but I was excited to give it a try (since this may be where I end up eventually).  It was pretty cool!  I think we get to do the real thing in the next couple of weeks sometime.  I am looking forward to next week when we learn phlebotomy in Doctoring class and we all get to stick each other with needles! (no sarcasm, I am actually excited)

I'm definitely starting to stress about school a lot less.  Still working on finding my balance where I can not over stress about studying, but still pass my classes ;)