I spent my morning volunteering at one of the student run clinics, and I finally felt ready to take on my own patient all by myself. Now, a lot of my classmates have been doing this for over 6 months, but I, on the other hand, have been petrified of screwing up/making a fool of myself and I felt like I should get a little more knowledge under my belt first, so I had been putting it off. If any of my classmates are reading this, they probably think I am a pathetic excuse for a med student, but hey - I wanted to wait until I was comfortable, and I'm glad I did.
Anyway, I just felt ready today for some reason. So the undergrad co-director handed me the chart, and when I saw "seizures" as the primary complaint, I definitely panicked for a minute! Haha! But I just went in and did my thing. It's funny because I wasn't nervous AT ALL! I felt really at ease with my patient, and I think she felt really comfortable with me too. It might have helped that she was young (I can to be intimidated by older adults sometimes). My interview with her went great, and after all was said and done, when we decided that she needed to come in again next weekend, she asked eagerly, "Are you going to be my doctor next week too?" I was so touched that she liked me enough to request having me again! Even after I stuck her for a blood draw and didn't do it right...
I wasn't planning on going to clinic next weekend (I have a ton of studying to do), but for a moment I actually considered coming in just for her. (Too bad I am selfish and am going to study instead :/)... But anyway, I had a realization of what makes a lot of doctors work so hard and put in so much time. Its the patients! They really need us!
It finally hit me - today was the first time I felt like a REAL doctor in training.